Loud and Proud

Day 57

I wish I could have had the confidence I have now when I was a kid.  I wish I could have been comfortable enough with myself to be myself back then.  I think it took me until, well honestly, about 5 years ago to finally figure out how to be myself.  This picture is a shirt - my shirt...one that I love.  It's also a shirt that I never would have picked out for myself years ago because it would have made people look at me.

In Montrose, I wasn't aware of my insecurity.  I think that I had enough friends that I wasn't overly insecure. I was comfortable with who I was.  That said, when we moved, every insecurity I had ever had even those that were way deep down in, came out in full force.  I wanted to be whatever the new people wanted me to be.  I wanted to be one of the "popular" kids.  It took me a long time to realize that those who seek popularity and crave popularity are the people who cannot be themselves.  I wish I had known that then.  I wish that I had left a different impression - of the person I really am and not of the person that I wanted them to think I was.  Then again, now, I don't much care.  Now, for the most part, I am comfortable enough with myself to be who I am all the time.  I am crazy.  I am silly.  I care too much.  I have a quick temper.  I'm smarter than I care to share with others.  I'm opinionated and sassy.  I don't trust easily.  I LOVE life. I'm happy.

My point here is not really to tell you who I am.  If you don't know me, it doesn't much matter.  What I want is for kids now - like my daughter - to realize that being herself is the most important thing.  It's not about popularity - no one gives a rats ass about being popular after high school.  Life is NOT a popularity contest.  Just be yourself - it's far more satisfying in the end.